Liralen Li (liralen) wrote,
Liralen Li

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Finding My Feet

Honestly, it wasn't 'cause the bees found them under the elastic of my beekeeper's outfit.  *laughs*

Though, perhaps, it helped.

I'm finally kind of settling into the fact that Jet is out of the house, and that doesn't mean that I'm not his Mom, still.  My fitbit still says, "Hi Jetsmom!!" every time I look at it...  But I am finding that I'm settling into this new way of living.

Just in time for me to uproot everything and go to LA with Tonya and Lisa and putz about there before heading up on a train to San Francisco, where John will meet Tonya and I and we'll all drive north together, wander about the redwoods, and then head further north to drop Tonya off at her friend's and the two of us will go visit Isabel in Redmond.

Which should be good, too.

One thing I'll note is that I've really recovered all my functionality from March, and my massage therapists are working on the last out-standing knots in my left shoulder.  I still have an ache in the left shoulder and neck that I can't seem to get rid of, but it's definitely better.  I've actually ridden my bike twice in the last few weeks, because the movie theater is within easy biking distance and a rather longer walking distance than I want to do in 85+ degree heat.  So John and I have ridden to watch "Crazy Rich Asians" and other movies, and it's actually been doable.

This when I told my doctor at my last visit, that I was afraid to even get on a bike.  So that's been pretty amazing.

John and I have also been going out and doing various things together, including discovering new food or getting back to places that we've loved.  We have also been going out to do errands and ending up hiking around on trails that have trailheads on the roads we're on, something we'd stopped doing when we had Jet to get back to when we were done. This is just in Boulder, where we got to see the Flat Irons from the North.

I'm also playing with my gamers again, and it's been really good.  I've put down timers, and they're more adamant about me stopping when I should than I am. It's good.  I was really worried that, like any addict, going back into the social situation that created the problem would make it flare up again; but the boys have been really mindful about how not to break their Autogyro.  So they're the ones telling me to get off sooner than I am. It's good.

One of those things I am realizing as I get older, is that sometimes it's just good to have someone there with me.  They don't have to fix things, they don't have to cheer me up, and they don't have to do anything in particular, just care enough about me to be with me for a bit.  That, alone, can make my day, and it seems to make their day, too.  So it's a win-win.  I realize, now, that sometimes chatting people in the chat places we used to have was good for that, too, but I just can't type that much anymore.  In some of those, when it means enough to me, I get my speech recognition software fired up and go at it that way; but it's so much easier to hop onto Steam or Discord and just vocally talk with my gamer buddies instead.

And they appreciate it, too.

Even if I can't help them in the game they're presently on (Monster Hunter:World seems really big right now, and as grindy as anything I ever remembered of WoW), they're just happy to sit with me and let me watch them play as we're keeping each other company. I sketch, stretch, log things, make to do lists while we talk, and it works out really well.

It's more fun when I can play with them, admittedly.  It's hard to play Rainbow 6 without friends on your team, random people can be so utterly toxic it's amazing, and it's nice to just have people I can play with and rely on there.  TF2 is dying, slowly, the community is just shrinking and shrinking, and people are peeling off and away to newer games.

For a game that is nearly 11 years old, it's to be expected.  And whenever I go out, the few people who are playing almost always include someone else I've met along the way. It was amazing to play with Merek again the other night, just for fun, and laughing like crazy when the usual insanity happened during the game.  Team Fortress 2 can't help but be cartoony, even in the midst of the most hard-fought battles. And it's fun to help the insanity by just picking things that are entertaining to do, like ubering a soldier who was down to just his melee weapon (he'd completely run out of rockets) who was determined to kill a sentry with a riding crop... he did it with the invincibility of an uber!

There is nothing like it, anymore.  Nothing with that sense of humor in the very bones of the game structure itself.   So I go back. Surprised myself by doing all right, too.  *laughs*

Anyway, I just feel more stable with two weeks under my belt and the third one looking like it's going to be super busy with the trip and everything.  Jet's in full swing at his Japanese high school, with a one hour train commute either way, a school festival in two weekends, and a couple of weeks to prepare for it.  He's even taking his host father out for adventures that look fascinating.  So he's doing well and figuring out what he really wants to see there, which are the authentic things that aren't just tourist traps. The fun and funny thing is that he knows exactly what a tourist trap smells and tastes like, having been to so many places that can fall into that.  *laughs*

I think I did my job as a parent, if Jet's figuring out how to look at the real things of a culture, and not just the things everyone else thinks he should look at.

Tags: adventure, coping, food, gaming, tf2, travel

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