Liralen Li (liralen) wrote,
Liralen Li

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Kid Resilience

For those of you who have followed my other journal, you'll know that my niece and nephew were abducted by their mother about two and a half years ago, were kept by her for a year and a half, and were returned to their father a bit after Christmas last year. When the FBI came in they were hiding under a desk, and when the child psychologist worked with them to try and help them with the whole transition, they were so scared and so closed off from other people and the rest of the world, they had to hide under his desk before they could really even talk with him.

Which says something about their experience with their mom.

I am amazed by their resilience.

After just being with their dad for the last eight months, they're now pretty much entirely like normal nearly teenagers. It started pretty rough, because of all the bad things they'd been told about their dad by their mom; but they gradually figured out the truth for themselves and have become far more confident and secure since then. What really impresses me is that their dad hasn't said a single bad thing about their mom, and while he hasn't asked us, specifically, to do anything even like that, we haven't said a word against her either. I mean, she's their Mom, so why knock her to them, of all people? And the kids have simply come to their own realizations on their own. They used to just cling to each other as the only other person in the world that really knew what they were going through.

Me, I use her as an object lesson to myself about what happens when one gets insanely possessive of ones children, to their detriment.

Now they have friendly arguments, and have become their own persons. They've loved going to a public school, they've loved having their old friends back, loved being able to make new friends, loved finding their own ways to do things, and they are now really amazingly great kids who, for the first time in a while, have just flown to visit their aunt and uncle in Albuquerque by themselves, and then had Aunt Cathie drive them up here to visit with Jet.

Okay, with us, too, but they had a really great time with Jet, and the whole carload of them, with John, explored Boulder yesterday, shopped, ate at the farmer's market, and had a really great time. Jet really loved them, and they really loved Jet, and it was really cool to watch them play with him and him playing with them and watching them everywhere. I would now hire my niece as a babysitter any day of the week. They called their dad at various times throughout the day to tell him that they loved him and their new adventures of the day, and it was just really cool. Really busy but really, really nice. In the now quiet house, I kind of miss their cheerful noise and Jet was all smiles and happiness for them, which was really cool after the last few days of him being in some kind of teething agony or something that had him grumpy for days, poor kid.

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