Trapped by work, trapped by Jet, trapped by a life that's so simple and often alone. I know some of that feeling stems from really, really wanting to see XXX this weekend and knowing that it's going to be a hassle trying to find a babysitter for Jet.
Plus the feeling that I 'shouldn't' be feeling trapped because it's a great life in many ways, and I love Jet and John and my job, which is part of why I'm still at them.
It helps to know that both feelings can exist at the same time and even if they contradict, it's not a contradiction of self-worth anymore. That's a useful thing.
Just headachy, too, as I've been having problems getting comfortable at night. I've been grinding my teeth a lot at night, and it's giving me headaches even with my night guard. I've also been wrestling with my buckwheat hull pillow and finding it hard to sleep on, recently. Bah.
To the good side, my parents mailed John and I a 15th anniversary present, early, and it got here yesterday and it's brand, spanking new toaster oven, with timer bake, and a cool toasting button you push down and it just goes as long as you set the darkness of the toast. I baked a personal sized Dutch baby in it this morning and it puffed beautifully, no burns anywhere, and it browned perfectly evenly. The heating element's really, really nice and even. I'm very impressed. This means that cookie baking is possible, and it won't just scorch the hell out them. Oster made it and it's big enough to fit a 9 inch pie, so I won't have to heat up the house just to bake something small.
That should be very useful.
It's also just really cool to get a gift that really make a difference to *both* John and I in our everyday lives. That Mom and Dad have gotten to know us that well is a very neat thing.