February 27th, 2003


Odd juxtapositions

I've been reading the whole series of Lone Wolf and Cub manga reprinted in English with the manga format by Dark Horse. Just two books at a time as they're stashed in the bookshelves behind Jet's crib, so I can't really get at all of them all the time.

I am glad I bought them.

I'm also reading Fear Less: Real Truth about Risk, Safety, and Security in a Time of Terrorism by Gavin de Becker. I loved his Protecting the Gift as it helped me feel more like I could deal with Jet. diony gave me the latter, amberley lent me the former. It's good stuff. It's a direct look at the real dangers of living in America today, and it's very, very hearteningly sane, logical, and still supportive of emotional realities.

I would recommend it to anyone that wants a better look at what terrorism really means to the fabric of their everyday lives.

I love the side affect of the books, to worry less, have less anxiety and stress in my everyday life, and to plan for what I can plan for, have faith in my ability to do something about what I encounter, and accept what I cannot affect. Which, of course, ties directly back into all the Lone Wolf and Cub stories and the whole gestalt of faith and action that is bushido. All of which resonates so deeply for me.

I know that I first latched onto Frank Miller's reprinting of the series when I was still a teenager, and it shaped a lot of how I look at life and how I want and need to approach it. To live in the moment. To approach any task or problem with all my abilities. To keep faith with those that I work for. To understand and know, deeper than my bones, that I can do what I set out to do, that a way will be made, if it is meant to be. To know that there are some things that are beyond my control and to accept them.

In some ways it seems so foreign to the Christian stuff that I study and work with, in others, it's the other side of the same coin of faith. It's the Tao that cannot be named, too. It's funny to see all the words and phrases and expressions and *feel* something that is all exactly the same and not get my brain around how to express it myself. That's frustrating me. *grin* But that may well be the work of a lifetime. We'll see.

The book, though, has persuaded me to give up worry, anxiety, and what I *imagine* to be possible failures, worst case scenarios, or dangers for Lent. Yes, Carl, Liralen's giving up imagined fear for Lent, which might mean I'll do some of the things I've been afraid of doing for so long. *grin*.

It helped that just last week, when John, Jet and I went in for our haircuts that Linda, our hairdresser, had just been to a coloring and tinting class. So I now have a nice, spiky, short hairdo with red all through the tips. It's brilliant in sunlight. It's nice to, once again, be myself and be visible and easily, uniquely identified again.
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