November 17th, 2003

crane

(no subject)

Weird dream this morning, that kind of hurt... oddly. Dreamed I was a a huge convention for a hundred-plus person LARP, and everyone had to write a description of their character without knowing 'what' they were going to be by the hidden system rules. Everyone had a one on one interview with one of the GMs and I sat down with mine and he gave me a list of word/concepts, as I was painting the concept on the paper by the word. This list was going to describe my character. He did share a review of, "You wrote about nothing important in this guy's life... only all the inane details."

Not that they'd given me any clue as to what was important or not... but so it is.

I ended up deciding not to play. Mostly stemming from a violent admission that I can't role-play. I have no mannerisms, voices, dialects, or physical indicators of something different than what I am in a different situation with different capabilities. More like Bruce Willis or Arnold rather than Johnny Depp or Crewe... *grin*.

It hurt to 'realize' that. Maybe it's the 'perfectionists' storm' that ambar spoke about... just because I don't do it 'as well as' I really want to, going to the extreme of 'I can't roleplay' isn't helpful, and there is that huge load of self-hate that goes with that feeling. Amplified by my last trip to DDC, where, in one game, I just so didn't click it wasn't even funny.
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crane

(no subject)

Well... added to the dream is the fact that John's family is having a reunion in Mexico during DunDraCon in 2004. So I won't be able to make it. I'll have to coordinate a visit to the Horde sometime during 2004, instead, I think, and try gaming again.

Or maybe I should really just be writing an on-going story as an outlet for all that way of thinking.
crane

(no subject)

Birthday meme thingy, a la Tersa.

OCTOBER:
Loves to chat (but only with friends). Loves those who loves them. Loves to takes things at the center. Inner and physical beauty. Lies but doesn't pretend. Gets angry often. Treats friends importantly. Always making friends. Easily hurt but recovers easily. Daydreamer. Opinionated. Does not care of what others think. Emotional. Decisive. Strong clairvoyance. Loves to travel. Loves the arts and literature. Touchy and easily jealous. Concerned. Loves outdoors. Just and fair. Spendthrift. Easily influenced. Easily loses confidence. Loves children.
crane

Dinner for 150

So I signed up to help with cooking for a farewell dinner for one of our pastors, and it's been oddly frightening and exhilirating trying to plan for 150 meals.

Especially as the assignment has been split between one guy doing the meat, one lady doing all the desserts, and I get to figure out everything else. He's decided on turkey, as it's that season, and turkey can be so inexpensive right now, especially compared to all the other meats.

I am planning on stuffing, a steamed vegetable, green bean mushroom soup cassarole, salad, and rolls. Costco did the first two, no problem. All I have to do is add butter and broth to Pepperidge stuffing mix. Easy Peasy. They also had 6 pound bags of suspiciously familiar mixed vegetables, good vegetables, but they really looked familiar to what a number of the middle-weight restaurants around here serve. They also have a really good salad selection, but I got all the dressing at Safeway. mizkit's Ted posted a beautiful soft roll recipe that got me all excited. A 25 pound bag of bread flour at Costco is only a measley $3, this compared to a bag of 25 rolls being $5, and I was hooked. I also wanted whole wheat rolls, which they didn't have.

So I'm committed to a lot of baking Friday and Saturday. Should be interesting to do. What might be funny would be handing out pre-mixed bags of all the dry ingredients with the shortening worked in (I love how shortening is pure enough to be so shelf stable) and instant yeast worked in, and just have people add water, time, and baking and maybe get them to make some rolls for me. The church has a list of people willing to do certain things, and I may be using up all the cooking folks.

There are moments when I'm daunted by the sheer scale of it. There are other moments when it seems way too simple... and I wonder at the moments of huberis.
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