January 9th, 2006



I bought the workbook How to Feel as Confident and Capable as Everyone Seems to Think You Are at the end of last week, it's the one that was linked to the website about Impostor Syndrome. I hated the workbook, especially the first half. There are a few nuggets in there that are useful, but most of it feels like male bashing and some really, really terrible gender definitions that are so stereotypical I gagged. To be really harsh, it takes a lot of things people "know" about how all-else-serving women "are" and how self-serving men "are" and goes from there.


I think, to be fair, by reading it I did figure out that I am doing the right things in trying to work on the next steps of filing off the edges of my perfectionism, that I *do* understand that I have strengths and capabilities, and that I don't have to be a jerk to 'prove' I'm capable. I can wing things. I can figure things out and start a new job with very little knowledge and not feel like I have to know everything simple to proceed. I'm getting better at that, and getting mildly better at making decisions where I don't know everything, yet. I do understand that her perceptions of women and men are the ones that I've been trying to get away from all my life, and this just makes my struggle that much more defined. Still, the whole

As a balance to the complete imbalance of that, I finally picked up Covey's The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People. It is all based on finding my moral principles, and gives specific steps on how to be get to embody those principles and carry them out. No gender issues here, at all. And I think it's all about the positive things that can be done to make every aspect of my life more what I want it to be. That's important to me.

What was really funny was then going on to read Pratchett's Thud!, and seeing Vimes pretty much DO all of Covey's steps in spades.

Okay, it was even funnier after I read Where is My Cow?. Kathy had given Jet this one while giving John Thud!, and the combination floors me every time. What's even funnier is that JUST like Young Sam, Jet is running around now going "Ptui! Buglit! But 'buglit' is my favorite! Buglit! Buglit! Buglit!" The book has me rolling with laughter every time Jet and I read it. And Jet's old enough now that he anticipates all the "original book" bits very handily and they make him giggle themselves.

Jet's really into trying to read, now. He's "making books" for me and for himself, and he's happily copying any book he can get his hands on into his books. He can't read them, yet, but, like me, is writing them, first, and then figuring out from the writing what makes words and sentences and such. It's funny, because with Chinese, I'm having fun just writing, doing the brush writing as beautifully as I can and not understanding much of it, but enjoying the forming of the words and using that to become more literate. He's doing the same with English.