November 30th, 2007



... it's very odd reading that article, for me, and realizing that for most of my life I've gone by the "innate characteristics" model. And when I make a big mistake, I would abandon the whole endeavor because I got convinced that I sucked at whatever it was I was doing. One of the reasons why I changed jobs every two or three years and took the excuse that all the career things say that in order to get raises, that that was what worked.

Xilinx was different. I stuck with them for eight years, and it's the longest I've stayed in one place for that kind of time.

And I'm finally in a situation where I can't just abandon things. And it's with things that I actually believed, for a while, that I had no innate ability at. Spinning and knitting have been my love for so long just because I wasn't expected to do them, and I learned everything through the doing it the hard way and making mistakes on my own without having to present a face to anyone about it. I did it mostly for fun and for myself.

Maybe that's why it was so depressing to be at the guild show, and suddenly worry about how I came across... rather than just enjoying what I was doing and where I was. Maybe I need to go back and figure something out...

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What I've Learned...

What I've learned about writing is that it's better to do it every week day and build in some "off days". But it's harder to do when I expect something significant every single day, i.e. a whole scene or a whole next step to a plot, it can be really hard to do and I get discouraged enough every time I miss a day's worth of "something significant" that I stop writing all together, and that's not useful at all.

I may just start some Word docs for each of the stories and just work on them for a couple of hours every day, and then post when there's a whole scene or thought of completion.

Or something. I have a good feel, now, for where Ash and Thorn are going. I have a better feeling for Ben as the executioner for Judge Dee, but I really want to read some of the Judge Dee stories before I go further with that and the feeling for that story. I have a good feeling for the seven brothers and their sister and their charge. I need to explore the chapel grounds some more, and may just edit out the thief and lady. But there's some kind of dynamic with the brothers that I really like. I still have to write rebellious brother Six more fully and that's going to be both interesting and hard for me. I'm not very good at rebellion.

It's also good to just write. I appreciate every comment everyone's made, and, especially rephetibel for following everything so faithfully. Thank you.