December 20th, 2007



Hm... I've wandered through my old blog, back in 1997, and it says that I was 168 pounds back then, too, so it's been at least ten years that I've been 168.  Right on the dot.  Sometimes a bit over and feeling bloated, sometimes a bit under when I was sick and I usually felt kind of weak then.  But I'd worried about it ten years ago, a little, but those were my Soccer Angel Liralen days.  So not that much worry when I was running for 90 minutes with a ten minute breather in the middle two or three times a week and my thighs were so big that even John couldn't get both hands around them.

Of course, I broke my knee and my weight didn't really fall off, but my musculature wasn't quite the same.  I kept that same weight pretty constantly through the startup days and the acquisition days and then through the assimilation into Xilinx culture.  I kept the same weight until I got pregnant with Jet, and then I gained the requisite 30 pounds, but within two weeks after Jet's birth, I was back down to 168, exactly. 

But, oddly enough, since about June, after the crown and the stress of all the travel, I've been steadily losing weight.  Around one to three pounds every month.  I gained two pounds back  in the stress of the camel down plus other obligations, but then I've been losing it again since.  Without really trying, though my life style certainly has changed tremendously since.  I've dropped ten pounds but still seem to be losing weight, and kind of wondering where it's going to level out.

The bemusing thing is having my J. Peterman's banker's suit fits again.  Having silk kimonos and dresses fit again.  The big, lush blue velvet over dress from J. Peterman is now within the realm of possibilities again.  My ball gown has always fit, but... it's nice to have something just a step down from that.  There's the dress I just bought, which still does quite well, especially with the glittery jewel colored jacket.  I'm going to be lay leader on Sunday, so it should be interesting, all in all to see what it is I decide to wear.

It's weird, after so many years of not caring what I weighed, to suddenly realize that my mental image of my physicality has really changed just with the dropping of about ten pounds.  I've always hated equating weight with self-confidence/beauty, and stayed away from that immensely.  But it's odd to be able to contemplate the sleeveless turtleneck and arm warmers on top of hakama of a Sanzo reincarnation and go Ooooo.... again.

I guess the lack of stress has really helped my body heal in ways I hadn't imagined...
  • Current Mood
    contemplative contemplative