December 23rd, 2009


The Season...

It's odd, sometimes, to realize how old I've gotten, how many people I've known and loved who are now dead, how much time has gone by, and how many years I've seen die in winter. I'm jaded and tired, frustrated with all the shopping I didn't get around to, all the prep and the killing off of all the well-meant intensions, and all the missed expectations.

And then, last night, the snow started to fall, and the world, this morning, is pure white and the snow is still coming down even, fine, and powdery dry. Jet is so excited for the whole thing, that it makes me smile every time I see him. His wonder, when he was talking to a teacher about how the Christmas tree had nothing under it and suddenly, in the last week, the presents suddenly piled up and are now overfilling the area under the tree. How much actual fun he had spending his own money on presents for just a special few people. He went over all his toys and book and picked out what he didn't need anymore in order to give them away to other kids.

He understands this season better than I do. That it speaks of hope and new beginnings, of resting to begin anew, of cleaning out what is no longer necessary and making way for what is to come.

I hope I learn the lesson.