We are in motion.
At moments, I feel a bit as if I'm in free fall, still waiting for the chute to come out and wondering if I packed it all...
Packed... It's funny. I can't seem to sleep at night. Not because I have anything concrete in my head, but just thousands of things nudging my sub-conscious about not getting left behind. Tyranny of stuff in spades. But nothing concrete that I can just write down...
Okay, not nothing.
I have a whole book of somethings. My ToDo lists for each day run off the page an d onto the journal/note sides of the page, and they collide with all the other things I already have planned. At least the planned things are easy enough to just do, it's the things unknown and unplanned that are driving me insane.
Friday was the inspection of our Erie house. Unknowns galore, and the worst part is simply not knowing if there was something we've missed about the house. The inspector was cool, though, and he really admired Jet. Jet followed him around the house while John was watching him and I was at CeLena's going through my bi-weekly torture session.
Poor CeLena was kind of unsettled by the fact that this might be my last session with her. I felt mildly odd for just not feeling anything. Or, maybe, not admitting that I felt anything. I still can't really tell the difference. I guess that some of it is that since I've moved, on the average, once every four years of my life, it's just part of the whole upheaval. We ended up hugging good-bye after the session, and I promised that if I had any problems with my new therapist that I'd call her and come over. I also thanked her for all the help she'd given me in the years I've been going to her and that I felt much better than when we first started on my poor, numbed arms. I think that helped. I don't know.
She did give my RSI book back, and I started the stretching exercises and they're making a huge difference.
Anyway... Jet followed the inspection guy around a lot, and asked questions, told stories, and exclaimed at the loudness of the fire alarm. When I got back, I watched Jet while John had a meeting, did some stuff, and then went out to do an errand. The inspection guy commented to me that Jet was really intelligent, and then later said that he could really tell that people listened to Jet, spoke to him, and read to him. He said that he had a 17-year-old son that was like that and was now reading at the college level. He was obviously proud of that fact, and then kept going with his inspection. When he was done, he congratulated us on a really good house, and packed up with Jet halfway in his tool box. Hee.
Since then we haven't heard anything bad about the inspection. If the buyer doesn't come back to us with anything in a couple of days, we're going to be able to just assume we don't have to do anything. That should be really nice. Given the comments by the inspector, we may well have nothing we have to worry about. The only unknown we were worried about was the radon levels in our basement. Given our renovations and closing off the crawl space from the living area we may well have taken care of anything that was going on down there.
Saturday was Get Out of the House day. We'd had a couple of showings late in the week and with the promise of a backup offer, we decided not to do any more showings. Plus, the folks that had wanted to see the house Saturday morning had called to cancel when they heard that the house was under contract. So that made it easy.
Our goal for the morning was to peer at flea markets and thrift stores for a used blender for my papermaking. Papermaking doesn't mess with my hands, so I've been gradually pursing the equipment and the know-how. But with the sizing sent by the Canadian Paperwright I really couldn't use our food-blender to blend the stuff. So we wandered down to Lafayette, as we thought there were flea markets there. We also knew of a nice little espresso house that looked promising for breakfast.
The cafe turned out to be really good. Jet, when asked, said that he wanted a "Warm, not hot, chocolate." The barrista grinned and asked him to taste it to see if it was okay before putting the whipped cream on. Jet cheerfully found himself a spoon and dug in while I got a cafe au lat, and John got his usual mocha. We all got muffins and they were quite good.
We then wandered down the main street, ran into the appliance place where we'd bought our washer, dryer, and other fridge and got to talk to the same guy we'd talked to last time. But they didn't have the fridge we'd been thinking of and wouldn't until summer, and they also had worse prices. So we ended up not buying anything, though we did talk with him for a while. Jet really enjoyed peering at all the appliances, and playing with them. He ended up camped in front of a coin candy machine, and wouldn't budge until I got him a handful of Mike and Ike's. He stuffed them into his pockets and got them out when he really wanted them.
After that we hit what we'd thought was a flea market, but turned out to be a shop that was just filled with handmade papers! Wow. $18 for a stationary set, $1 for 8.5x11 sheets, $2.50-$5 per *big* sheet of paper. Good prices for good products, and a good comparison for what I think I want to do. But no blenders, or anything old.
We ended up heading home, and going out later in the afternoon to Longmont to drop off recycling and hit the thrift stores up there. The older Ares shop didn't have anything, but the Humane Society's thrift shop had one for seven bucks! Wooieee! I bought it in a flash, and when I got back into the van, Jet says, "Yay! We got a blender!!"
I nearly fell over. He'd definitely absorbed the gist of the quest.
We stocked up, got stuff for Church Snack time tomorrow, went home, and then started packing like mad. Books, teapots, my antique desk which is filled with quills, steel pens, glass pens, fountain pens, and an absurd amount of ink in bottles.
Jet helped. He brought paper to John or I. He helped with cutting tape. He helped sit in boxes while we built them. He helped bring things, take things, and hold boxes shut while we taped up stuff. He also would say things, sometimes, that would crack us up. He helped with dinner, and helped clean up, and did a lot of stuff for a little guy.
After dinner, we made chocolate cupcakes for tomorrow. We cut vegetables
And then, like us, he slept badly. I'm not sure why Jet's having the same problems we are, but we're all sleeping badly at night. And maybe it's the old adage of bodies in motion tend to stay in motion, and it's hard to rest when there's so much to do, so much to be done and no where to really rest until we've moved.
Sunday Jet had to join the Big Boys for church school, as the toddler teachers were all out for Spring Break. So he was a little uncertain to start, and hung onto John for a while before he finally joined the boys in their stories and games. Once he'd joined in, though, he really didn't need us anymore. I then went to the kitchen and started laying out all the food. Donut holes, strawberries with cream, chocolate chip cookies from our freezer, chocolate cupcakes, pink 'crackers' (the Vortman wafer cookies), and a big tray of vegetables and dip were all laid out and then covered with dishclothes to keep them safe from early snackers.
I then returned to the toddler room and played with Orion and Jet with John. When it was kids' chat, we all ran to the front of the church, but Jet clung to me, and curled up in my lap instead of sitting with all the other kids. So I sat up there with him, and he just curled up against me and listened. But when chat was done, he followed all the other kids to kids' church. John followed him into there, and I set up the last of the food and discovered that there was no coffee. No caffeinated coffee, at least, and so I made three pots of the stuff, and muttered mildly to myself as there's supposed to be a coffee mavin to make coffee for the snack time. I may well have to volunteer as a coffee maker in the future, as I really care about the quality and quantity of the stuff.
When church let out, I just wandered about. I took care of Jet, washing his hands, and making sure he had some food. Then I just kept re-stocking the food and the coffee, as necessary. The funny thing is that I never ate a thing myself. I also spent a lot of the time thinking...
I really wondered why, yet again, I was making huge life changes at Lent. We moved here, five years ago, at pretty much exactly this time. Jet's first few months were during this time. My knee injury and recovery through surgery happened in this period, too. Lent seems to be the time for things to happen, in a big way. These are the times when I miss my old journal, and all the links to past years, so I can see how things have gone.
I guess an easy answer is that it's spring. The moving of the earth and life after the death and cold of winter. Time for new life, new beginnings, and big changes. Much of it was actually beyond my control, though, unplanned things that just happened. My job change happened now only after a whole year of trying to make it happen through the year. Jet's birth was totally unknown until it just happened to work at that time.
Or it's just the significance thing, where you simply notice if there's a coincidence that happens at the time you're willing to notice. Like things happenings during Mars Retrograde or full moons.
Whatever it is, I'll be really glad when went stop falling.
Sunday night we packed some more, and then stopped to watch Whalerider. It made me cry, and it was a good cry. Simple sentiment, nothing too great or crazy or awesome. Just a simple, fun plot and good cinematography. Jet recognized the whales and talked about sticks.
He also found the packet of sugar trucks that he'd asked for when we were buying things for his birthday party. He pulled the broken trucks out and was outraged when John or I suggested that he eat the broken trucks. This went on for an hour or so until I suddenly realized that Jet may have never known that they were candy. He just loves trucks so much, he thought they were some kind of toy.
So I actually explained to him that they were also candies. I did it simply and he peered at his trucks with growing comprehension. I asked him to taste one of the broken pieces and he licked it cautiously. A smile dawned on his face, "Dat's yummy!" He them munched down the piece and immediately offered John and I pieces as well. Wow!
Colleen did us a great favor and walked into our new house as the present owners were moving out and measured the fridge space and called John with the measurements. So we were able to get the fridge
Monday I worked in the morning, and at 3:30, we went to Longmont and did the walk-thru of the house. It's another big step. I wasn't too sure what shape the house would be in. Turned out that John had the same inchoate fears I did, and it turned out to be great! The lady had not only gotten everything out, fixed up the mantle so that there was no visible trace of the artwork left, but also cleaned the whole house! The receipts she'd left showed that she'd spent $500 on cleaning alone! Yeesh. They also showed that there was some stuff significantly wrong with the hot tub, and that they'd all been fixed. There was also receipts for the other fixes that were all done right. That was good.
Jet played in the house while we did the walk through, and Colleen gave us all the paperwork for the closing today.
That was good as I was able to read through everything. That worked out well, and the signing took less than half an hour, no problem. I met John at Cafe Luna and we went to the signing together before he went to the house to unload a load of stuff he'd put in the van. I went back to work.
Which wasn't really work, yet, as we had a group lunch to say farewell to me! That had surprised me, but Fei had planned it and asked about restaurants. The funny thing was that when he asked a dozen local restaurants filled my brain, but the foremost were the cheap places that we do after swimming. Then I actually asked myself if I really, truly wanted to eat at those places. I finally ended up with a quick list of three restaurants, Pinocchio's (Italian), Sakura (Japanese), and The Royal Bengal (Indian). There was enough spread between then that I figured people would be able to choose something distinct.
And we ended up at Sakura's today. It was really good. It's also been quite some time since we've had a motivational group gathering. Lots of people told me lots of good things about me, and it was really nice. The great thing was realizing that with most of them that they'd said the same nice things to me through the years I've been working. It's just having it all concentrated at the end that made it feel overwhelming.
I also got to walk my new cube, today, and the guys are fixing it up to be just like my old cube, which is very nice indeed. I really am looking forward to it, though I'll miss seeing the train go by, outside, every day. My new cube is one of the inner cubes rather than the outer ones like my old one is, so I'll have to make a little more effort to move to do some distance focusing. Still, I spend so little time in my cubicle that it's appropriate.
So, it's all starting to come to a stop. Three more weeks of craziness, but most of it is now *planned* craziness, finishing off the things that were started under our own control. That's a better thing, I think... and just in time for Easter, as usual. The vacation in Oregon will be over Easter, and, I think that by then it'll be okay. That we'll have done the bulk of the moving, the inspection and the aftermath will be done on the house we're living in, and we'll be pretty much set, again, with a path that isn't knocked about, as much, by chance and other people's desires. It'll be good to have it under our control again...