Liralen Li (liralen) wrote,
Liralen Li

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Saying "No"

Tonight was Jet's pre-school's "Harvest Dinner", where folks were encouraged to bring side dishes, rolls, butter, and relishes as well as desserts.

In the past week, John went through the stomach flu that had kept Jet throwing up for most of a night, and then I got it. Bleh. So we were both mildly recovered last night.

I've also had a really bad week. I dropped a bunch of things that I either forgot about or got notified of too late or was asked to do, but I figured that I just couldn't take on more. I hate not being able to do what someone asks of me; but I also have, finally, enough experience to know when I have to say, "No."

One of the things that I had enough foresight to say No about, but still felt like I'd dropped the ball was for work's Craft Fair. Last week, during last call for items, I finally told the organizers that I had to back out. I just didn't have the time. They were happy for the early notice, and actually accomidated a bunch of my stuff on someone's table that had plenty of room. None of it sold, but so it is. Folks just weren't all that into the things that were there, I guess, and there wasn't a whole lot of traffic. Makes me wonder if most of the folks weren't thinking about Christmas, yet, really.

I forgot about a class, forgot about a deliverable, forgot about signing up for flex spending (which involves thousands of dollars, which just made me so mad), was late for my massage appointment, and much of my own brain just got eaten by a few big decisions I had to make. So a lot of relatively important stuff got dropped for some urgent things. Bleh.

Though I did make up the class and stuff. All the time feeling like someone had run over my head and guts and hadn't even stopped for an apology...

So I was feeling kind of washed out when I went to pick up Jet. He was happy enough and we talked all the way home. When we got home, went into the house, he suddenly realized that we'd left his show and tell toys at school! So we went to go get them. And we did.

On the way there he's accusing me, "You forgot them!"

And I would say, "I don't even know what you took. How could I forget what I don't even know? You forgot them..."

and he'd counter with "No, you forgot them!"

I finally said, "Look. We're going back to get them. Does it matter who forgot them?"

He thought about that for a bit and then settled back into his car seat.

I'm glad I thought of that.

We went there, and found Miss Tony, whom Jet wanted to ask, and she searched all over and couldn't find them, either. She promised Jet that she would put them in his box if she did find them. And he had enough faith in her that he could just leave it like that. That was nice to see.

So we went back home and John came home then, and we took an hour to just veg. The boys went into the basement and played video games while I just knit and watched TV.

At 6:30 we headed back, again, to Seven Oaks and had a big, messy Turkey feast with lots of little, tiny, hyperactive kids. Jet rode my shoulders into the room with all the food and when I wanted to set him down so that I could do my plate he didn't want to get near all the food, at all. John ended up picking him up, crying really hard, to get him out of the way of the line; but when Jet demanded that he be let go, John let go and Jet ended up crying against a wall. He asked for me to be with him, please. So I knelt by him and was patient with him as he dried his tears on my jacket and got cuddled a bit. Eventually, he consented to sitting on my shoulders while I got food. It was interesting filling my plate from tables sized for three and four-year-olds with a child on my shoulders, but it worked.

When John and I sat down, Jet curled up in John's lap and sat there until he saw someone eating pumpkin pie. Then he told John, "I want a pancake like that!" So he got a piece of pie, lots of whipped cream, and plowed through the filling and left most of the crust. :-) I should remember that as a way to get squash into Jet.

It was loud. It was chaotic. Jet did see Miss Nina and gave her one of the scarves that didn't sell at the craft fair. She loved it! Yeah! Though she and all the other teachers had to have a Mobieus strip explained to them. Which, I'll admit, made me want to hide my head in some sand for a bit.

After the food, Jet was much happier, and started playing with his favorite things. Various teachers wandered by to tell us he was their favorite. He was quiet, had a great attention span, and listened when they spoke to him. He wasn't hyperactive, was assertive when other kids were trying to run him over, and he shared well. Wow. That was cool to know.

I'll admit that when I heard all that I thought it was mostly just him.

When we went home, we had to pick up for the cleaning crew tomorrow. So I gave Jet some clear instructions on how to pick up his room and he got on it, just like that. I told him how pleased I was with the fact that he was doing it and Jet just grunted and kept going.

I told John, "Wow. We have a son who picks up his own room!"

John calmly replied, "You've trained him well."

I pshawed.

John said, "Seriously! You had everything to do with it. Take some credit, woman!"

Made me think.

Nurture and nature, hand-in-hand. Jet seems to like being neat, clean, and not-sticky. Encouraging that is a useful thing for nurture to do; and while his base instincts are a certain way he wouldn't know how without some training. So it is both! *grin*

I also got to talk, with John, about my really big problem a lot, and got a much better perspective of what I really want to do. Whew.

So it's ended up being a better day than the rest of the week. I'm glad.

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