We had gorgeous short ribs, asparagus, and leftover rice for dinner. Jet had a tremendous lunch, of half a dozen sample snacks, most of a giant slice of pizza, a little pop, half of a "vanilla ice cream on a STICK" (he was dancing when he said it), Natural Cheetos (fifteen minute's worth of them), a smoothie, and half a Mrs. Fields chocolate graham cracker. He said that his stomach still ached at dinner time, and I believed him.
It feels like spring. 60 degrees today and hotter in the sunshine. The compost bin is starting to really go, now, and the Stuff in there is starting to smell more of dirt than of decay. Thumping it around a dozen or so times today really loosened things up and stirred in a bunch of dead branches, roots, and leaves from the plant boxes from last year. I found some plastic bits in the bin, likely from when John vacuumed up the dead leaves in the fall. It's kind of exciting seeing all that stuff starting to warm up and really go. It really needs more dried material as there's nearly five lawn mowings in there, but only one or two leaf collections, and there's now room to fit more leaves, if we clean the yard up one more time.
Jet was fascinated by this odd blend of dead things (sad plants, he called them) that was becoming something Mommy was really excited about. He wanted to help me with the garden today, so he jumped onto the side of the bin and helped me turn it. He then jumped into his sand box and played and soaked up sunshine. Mmm. I spent a few hours planting the first tomato and basil seeds. I should use the last of the pesto from last summer, as I can see things starting up.
Jet helped me with the seed starting kits, but got cold as he was doing it in the shade and the water was cold for the dirt. He asked me, next time, to use warm water, but I said I worried, a little, that it might cook the seeds. He nodded, but asked me to build him a fire and make him cocoa with a marshmallow, which I did, and he warmed up quite nicely. He was in sweat pants and a sweat shirt, and happy to help me when he could.
I'm going to wait until I get the potting soil renewing stuff to start the lettuce. It'll like being outside in the sunshine during the days, so I'm thinking of putting it in a big pot and just letting it grow as it will, maybe near some vent or put shiny mylar or one of Jet's balloons by it. They're still floating really well. Wow. It's been a week.
I spent most of yesterday afternoon and this morning sleeping. I got to church just in time to find the boys up front. Jet did great. John had to stay for a lunch, so we went home, made smoothies and sandwiches and sat on the front step, in the sunshine and ate. It was very comfortable. Then, at 3 or so, Tanner and Macy asked Jet to come over and play and he's still there. I loaded a Gig of music onto my laptop and am enjoying Dar, Annie Lennox, Bach, Sting, and Cole Porter. No iPod, and I probably won't get one, as this is portable enough for me. I should try the shuffle meme, sometime, though, now that I have enough stuff on the machine.
An odd side effect of going through all the motions of loading this stuff onto the machine has been the realization that I actually rather LIKE music. Huh, who would have known?
Realized that reminding myself about giving up self-doubt got me to write up two rather straightforward documents on some very controversial and complex projects being thought through right now and at the end of the week, I sent things out for review that I don't think I would have, otherwise. It would have taken more agonizing... in my usual mindset. It was tremendously easier to just say, "No doubting myself. Just send them." and they were just gone... whoosh...
I am realizing that one of my strengths, the strategy one, really is a very clean and clear talent for wading through a sea of sometimes contradictory data and finding a really good path for everyone to walk. As a side of that, I retain enough of that sea of data to be able to support the decision to just about anyone I talk with about it, and it's something I do surprisingly well.
Self-doubt Denials: 3