Liralen Li (liralen) wrote,
Liralen Li
liralen

Calloused

My hands are changing. They're hardening, darkening and the ridges are roughing, the skin thickening where I've damaged the skin on shovels, knitting needles, and yarn. The nails aren't always coming entirely clean after digging in the compost and dirt of the garden, and one is split where I hit a rock.

I'm watching my hands in fascination as they take on their new identities. Becoming something different and noteworthy when I grasp the hand of a stranger in greeting. I can feel how soft most hands are, now, how they contrast with mine.



The sun/weeping moon sweater is going very well. I can nearly burrow into the warm double-thick tube on the chilly evenings after the too-warm days, the bamboo circular needle I'm working it with has split the working tip a few times, and I can feel the minute snags here and there. I could take some sandpaper to the tip, but I don't want to mess with my gauge at all, as it's perfect at the moment to fit exactly what I want to fit. I've gone past the tears, the eyes, the eyebrows, and I'm on the pensive brows, wrinkled gently with the arcs and sprays of color that cut the too long fields of the background.

My garden grows, though I gave away one of my really big tomato plants by accident. So it is. I have three, which has already proven to be more than we can eat in a summer, so that is that, but I'm spring-greedy for summer tomatoes and it irks me mildly. But I have plenty of the Green Zebras which I really should be giving away. Bah. I'll be container growing them, though now I'm mildly tempted to put one in the garden, as I have so many healthy ones. But the cross-pollination always does strange things to the fruit. Okay, I'm a little curious to see if I get Red Zebras by cross-pollinating my First Ladies with the Green fruit. :-) But not *all* of them, darn it.

The carrots are now in in neat rows, too close for my liking, but the packet says what it says. The zucchini are growing like crazy, and this year I have just the right spot for them, so they can grow to their hearts content and I won't have to knock them back to provide sunlight for anything else. The onions starts are now very, very happy. I still have to get the string beans in, purple, yellow, and green. They should be fun, though part of my mind wonders if they'll cross-pollinate as well.

My shoulders, knees, and back all ache, but it's a good ache, different than the tension from work. Work has been good too, though. We're hitting the end game, and I'm always scared, as usual, but part of me thinks we're doing it right this time and it's going to be good in the end. It is going to be better than it's ever been, and that's what I was aiming for.
Tags: gardening, knitting, self-esteem, tomatoes, work
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