I wrote the instructor's email address. The next meeting they have is Tuesday night. I'll probably go and check it out one way or another. It's bringing up a lot of questions in my brain. Why? probably being the biggest.
I think it's to find myself again. To see where those edges are of what I can do and what I can't again. To hammer out that form and then stretch it again. To have someone oppose me and see me in a completely different light than anyone else in my life sees me now. I miss those moments of clarity, where there is nothing but that single moment, reacting to nothing but what is and leaving the rest of the contents of my brain behind. I miss it not just from those years of fencing I did, but all those years of soccer as well those other years of tai chi.
And, amusingly enough, after a long talk with someone about the nature of adrenaline junkies, perhaps it's just to feed the adrenaline junkie in me in a more active form than video games. Now that I don't have the battles and stresses of work, perhaps I'm looking for a healthier alternative.