Liralen Li (liralen) wrote,
Liralen Li

The Good to Balance the Bad

It's always a good day in Bible study class when I can say, out loud, for everyone to hear: "It's a lot easier for me to pass as straight than it is for me to pass as white." Even when it wasn't exactly on topic. *laughter*

Ahem. It was Luke. And the teacher started out by asking everyone to name the times when they felt like outcasts. My best friend in the class met my eye and she said, "Let me count the ways..."

Ah... so many ways. *buries head* I have to admit I never thought it could be said like that to... well... church people, honestly. If I am bigoted, I'm pretty bigoted against Christians even if I are one, now. But... I guess that's why I've always loved Luke. It's written for the outcasts, the outsiders, the ones relegated as unclean, as untouchable, and as the dregs of humanity. All the ones that one hears of churches throwing out on their ear. It was interesting to read the other gospels and find that they make me cringe in certain ways.

I got to talk about being bi, about being with the SE-siders in high school, about being of Chinese descent, about being so uncomfortable around those who were holier than I, straight and narrow.

Anyway... it went better than I expected. Much better.

Spent most of the day at the zoo with the boys. Elephants in the snow. We saw reptiles, the big cats, the seals, and lots and lots of tropical things in hot houses. It was 40 degrees out, and the wind was biting, but we walked and walked and it was good. Jet's parking karma held up and we had the best parking slot in the lot. We had a terrible lunch, but it was fuel.

On the way home, Jet wanted to buy something, nearly anything... so we hit a mall, and he and John went shopping and I went to the Gap and got my first size 10 pair of jeans since college. My 12's pretty much fall off my hips, now, so I had to get something that fit again, and they're almost too big, but at least they stay on. I found my old belt, too. Whew. Sometimes it's useful being a mild pack rat.

I'm finding my balance again. It was good to spend most of the day away from the computer and daydreaming about the next scenes I have to get through before I can get another four chapters of _Twin Souls_ up. diony has given me the courage to pick up _Ash and Thorn_ again with some very insightful thoughts on the chapters that are up. I now have some really good concepts to work with on it, and actually take the time to fill out the writing and take a calmer, more solid approach to telling the story. I think my practices with the fanfic has helped me get a better handle on how to really pace a story.

I read a very startling drabble by Terry Pratchett (with a footnote even!), and a very, very on-target article about all the cliches that work when writing. It was startlingly accurate for what I've been through in the last few weeks, especially the value of that not quite dream state when I've just woken up. I get a good half to full hour of lying in bed in the morning and I get more plotted in that time than any other time of the day.

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