Fanfic: Hard Work

Title: Hard Work
Fandom: Bleach
Pairing: Urahara/Grimmjow (yes, the crack is amazing crack... yeesh)
Rating: R for implied stuff but nothing that explicit.
Warning: Bad Languge and Boy romance...
Word Count: 1947
Summary: Urahara gets grumpy about Grimmjow tearing the place apart, but he doesn't really hold much truck with Yoruichi's advice. Or at least he didn't...
A/N: I actually gave this crack pairing a thought when making a prompt for sickletongue and when she once did an informal request for a non-fluffy story of that pairing this seed was planted. That was months ago. I'm bemused at what it grew into... yeah... sorry, it kind of slid behind the tree and couldn't be found until I took the darned thing down...
Disclaimer: I do not own nor make money off of Bleach.

"Drat, those stupid boys," Urahara's tone was vicious for how mild the content was.

"Your fault for letting him have his head," Yoruichi's raspy tones from her black cat form was matter-of-fact. It made it easier for him to accept what she said, and he knew that she could manipulate her tones as easily as he could. That knowledge didn't change the fact that it worked. "Just because the bad guys threw him out as well doesn't mean that he knows what's good for his new territory."

Together they surveyed the five city blocks Ichigo and Grimmjow had completely destroyed on a "training exercise." The only saving grace was that it was in the fake Karakura model, now unused since the War. The memories he might have had to change, and the number of dead and injured that he might have had to deal with made Urahara's head ache.

Urahara's tones were tired was he said, "I'm not a fucking babysitter, especially for these frightening children."

"Well, you could at least fuck him, it might get that energy level down to something more reasonable. This way he's just... " Yoruichi shook her head.

"What?! Me? What about you? You're the one he keeps coming on to." Urahara eyed the cat.

She laughed. "That's just because he thinks he should. Besides, he knows you're mine, and he can't seem to get it through his head that he doesn't have to come through me to get to you. Not that he could. Besides, he's not my type: I like 'em smarter." Her wink made Urahara grin lopsidedly. "I've got another thing that I want to take care of anyway. With me out of the way, you'll get your chance."

"Chance? Who said I wanted a chance at that narrow ass?" Urahara knew he sounded petulant, and for the moment he didn't care. This was Yoruichi, his true captain, his lover, and his most strategically sympathetic companion of the last century.

And that love and Captain, a woman whose job it was to look in every shadow, who knew him better than nearly anyone, even all the things he hid and held behind his hat and fan, just looked at him with eyes the color of gold.

He was horrified to find himself blushing.

"Damnit," he said.

She simply laughed that rasping laugh, and left.

Why the hell couldn't that Kurosaki kid take care of it? Urahara knew that Ichigo's energy levels now surpassed the blue-haired arrancar's; and they'd been sword buddies ever since the arrancar had been saved by him. But Ichigo hadn't seemed interested in anyone, even the moon-eyed Orihime, the ever-aware Ishida, or the slender power of Uliquorra. Besides, Ichigo and Grimmjow were a bit too much alike for them to hit it off anywhere except when they were fighting each other.

The Vizards had gone on doing their own thing, since they couldn't be "cured" of their Hollow powers anymore than the Arrancar could without being cleansed and simply losing them. While there had been some spark between Grimmjow and that crass Shinji, that had ended in fireworks so big they were seen even in Soul Society. No one talked about the smiling blond in front of Grimmjow after that. Besides, Grimmjow was coming back to the store every night, looking hungry and angry all the time, not exactly the recipe for him getting any somewhere else.

Crap. She was right.

Grimmjow was angry.

And when Grimmjow was angry, he ripped things apart.

It was simple, even easy with the stupid, empty model lying around. It felt good. Even without Ichigo to taunt and swing at, gathering his power and putting a fist, a foot, his sword and power through the concrete, shattering glass, and steel of a big building still felt satisfying.

Then something hit him. Hard.

He whirled and loosed ceros in all direction, as his eye was caught by a flash of red, he slammed power into another ball and fired at that as well.

Then the red danced cross the dust and smoke and ash. He hit it again and again destroying everything it touched but somehow...

... and suddenly realized it was a laser pointer.

"Fuck you!" he screamed and whirled to where the source of it had to be, and a red blood shield came up. He shattered it with a two-handed blow that should have taken care of a city block.

"Yare yare, so much energy for such a little thing." The soft, polite voice drove Grimjow even madder and he gathered everything into a ceros that should have blotted out the sky.

Instead that stupid shopkeeper's jacket simply fluttered in the wind as that woman of a sword fit those white hands, and Benihime blocked the ceros perfectly. Power for power, angle for angle, and there was nothing but silence.

Grimmjow understood what it meant. What having that kind of control for that kind of power meant in terms of how much of a chance he stood against it. But he never understood why that power didn't just squash him flat the way Aizen used to squeeze him tight in that implacable grip, the reiatsu pushing all the air from his lungs, ripping everything away from him, and then bending him to its will. Why such power hid behind soft words, and even softer images made no sense to him.

So he flung himself at those images, that illusion, to cut it all away.

They battled through the sky, stroke for stroke, blow for blow, power for power. Grimmjow stretched his powers, his abilities, and his body; and strove with everything he had to just fucking hit the man. Each time, though, he couldn't touch the body hidden behind those demeaning shopkeeper's robes. The infuriating man would leave a small cut, a little mark, just to show what he could have done but didn't have the decency or respect for Grimmjow to do. A wild flurry of sword cuts, each met precisely or not at all, and no strikes in return. Grimmjow loosed blasts that brought buildings down to their foundations, but they all missed their actual target. Finally, he was reduced to screams of hatred and rage that should have cracked the sky.

"Why don't you fucking kill me, you stupid human?!"

Grimmjow howled and finally crumpled, drained of all the reiatsu it took to destroy everything around him.

Then, incredibly, he felt a hot breath and then teeth against the back of his neck. Jaws closed tight, hard edges pressed into his skin. The lick of a hot tongue against his own sweat, pooled at the back of his spiky hair, made him melt like a kitten in the jaws of its mother.

“Aw, fuck, Sandals and Hat, why the hell did it take you that long?”

Hard hands moved, and an even harder body pressed up against Grimmjow’s back, even as that mouth yanked at the back of his neck. Grimmjow growled low even as his body and reiatsu responded helplessly to that strength, making a sudden spike in hot desire in that reiatsu pressed against him. The jaws released, a rough, warm tongue licked against the mark left by those teeth and Grimmjow shuddered.

"Because you never asked," was murmured low against Grimmjow's hair.

"Asked? Only pussys ask," growled Grimmjow.

"Well, pussy, I think I'm about to give you an object lesson in the polite negotiation of sexual desires."

And then he was gone.

"WHAT THE FUCK!?" Grimmjow screamed at the now empty sky.

A week later there was no sign of Yoruichi. There was no sign of the fire-haired Freeloader either. A few good fights with Ichigo, and Tessai was as inapproachable as ever, only ever bowing to Sandals and Hat.

Most galling of all, Sandals and Hat was just as polite, self-effacing, and distant as ever.

And Grimmjow never asked.

Instead, he went and destroyed the practice cliffs randomly, and then did the backbreaking work of recreating them all again. He hated that part, but it was good practice for making things. And being just desert, he didn't have to pretend to even be able to regrow living things. He hadn't ever been very good at making stuff, but given this opportunity he had taken a certain satisfaction in the rebuilding that he would never have admitted before. It was a good thing to do when he didn't want to think.

He was in the midst of raising another red rock cliff when he felt the cool, breezy reiatsu of Sandals and Hat coming through the hatch at the top of the practice grounds.

Instead of just letting it go to rubble, Grimmjow grimly held onto his creation and made it stick, even in the face of what he knew was going to be laughter or ridicule.

Instead, Sandals and Hat walked over and laid a hand on his new cliff and nodded. "Nicely done, Jaggerjack-san."

Grimmjow snorted.

"What? Do you doubt my praise?"

"It's just a lousy cliff."

Kisuke laid his hand on the cliff and looked up. "Nearly twenty meters tall and solid through. It's good work. I'm glad you're taking care of the practice grounds as well as using them, now."

Grimmjow shrugged. "Why the hell do you talk like a woman all the time?"

The hated hat tilted a little. "Why do you talk like a bad advertisement all the time?"

Grimmjow snorted. "I do better with straightforward."

"Then why have you not straightforwardly asked for what you want, Jaggerjack-san?"

Grimmjow growled, centered, and then yanked another cliff out of rubble, rock, and sand.

"Raising another edifice to cover the fact that you've raised your own?" The mocking tone made Grimmjow want to just wipe the entire inside of the practice area with that stupid grin. He had no idea why he wanted that fucking stupid mouth and smile around his cock, but just the idea made him tight with want and fear that he just wasn't going to ever be able to be worthwhile enough in Sandals and Hat's eyes to get it. He wasn't strong enough to overpower the other man, and it galled that the other didn't seem to want him enough to just take him. It was what would have worked in Hueco Mundo.

Here though... this was harder than just take or be taken.

His fists tightened on themselves until he felt his claws bite into the palms of his hands. The pain centered him.

"So if I just said, p—pl--," Grimmjow choked on the word. He worked himself up to a more bitter tone. "If I begged to fuck you, you'd let me?"

Grimmjow was shocked when the hat came off, and steel-gray eyes looked into his blue ones as if searching for something. Urahara's hand came up and lightly stroked Grimmjow's cheek before going away, leaving Grimmjow suddenly aware of how cold it was without that touch. Urahara just nodded, as if he found what he was looking for.

"You would not have to beg, proud one. A simple 'please' would be plenty."

Grimmjow's jaw dropped. He hadn't thought the stronger man would even entertain that thought, he should have been backhanded through the wall for presuming. Not... this.

Urahara grinned at the wordless answer, and then pulled the shocked Arrancar close and kissed that fanged mouth until the blue-haired one whimpered a quiet, "Please," against Urahara's lips.

"That," Urahara whispered softly, "will do nicely."
Tags: ,
oh. dear. god.
That's so hot it aches. XD

Benihime is my absolute favorite zanpukutou so I loveloveLOVE you for mentioning it, it's as if you knew all along!
And I love that Grimmjow and Ichigo are like little kids that need cleaning up after. haha I can completely imagine that happening. And Urahara's smiling coldness. :D

Thank you so much! This is going in my memories!

Edited at 2008-12-29 03:46 pm (UTC)
*smiles* I'm so glad you found your Christmas present pleasing after all the lovely request fics you've given me. *grins* Yay for the heat! *dances about*

Yeah, I like the Crimson Princess very much, myself... and I'm glad you enjoyed how I brought her into it.

And Urahara is simply himself.

Woohoo! Thank you!
This was such a fun story. Sure it's a crack pairing, but you really make it work and I like that.

Neither one ever stepped out of character to be together and I liked that.

I find it difficult to say, especially since Grimmjow is in this, but it was a cute story. XD
I'm very glad that it worked for you, even when it's way out on a limb like that, and that you found both guys in character and Yoruichi believeable as well.

Hee. Yeah... cute despite Grimmjow. But I think the concept of Urahara having him in hand is kind of fun.

Glad you liked the story even so!! Thank you!
*Raises Hand*

I liked it. I liked it a lot!

This is SUCH a crack pairing, but its such a delicious one (Kisuke and Grimmjow being two of my favorite characters) that I couldn't dislike it even if I tried.

Now all you need is to throw Ichigo into the mix and you'd probably have my OT3 EVER.


*loves on you*
*falls over laughing at the thought of actually throwing Ichigo into the sexual mix as well*

Goodness. That is an amazing OT3 you have there!! Talk about... high energy. And I'm glad you found it delicious as it was.


I'm so glad you liked it!! *dances about in the love* Wow.

Thank you!!
^^ Cool story - very hot pairing! Good Job and thanks for sharing!!
This, my dear, is lovely. I loved the tention and the flow and the characters... lovely indeed <3 I also quite loved the pairing as you write it, actually.
*smiles* Thank you so much! *hugs you happily*

I'm very glad that it worked for you the way I wrote it. *grins* That's always good to hear.
OMG, so much love for this-- Favourite line "Well, pussy, I think I'm about to give you an object lesson in the polite negotiation of sexual desires."

And then the fact that Grimmjow has to be resocialized-- building rather than destroying, that strength isn't exploitative, behind the very real desire, it seems that this fic is every bit as much about a renegotiation of more human relationships for Grimmjow. And love the side comment about Ichigo's sexuality-- the hero in shounen as an asexual being, the object of desire but never desirous (Ulquoirra even??!!!)? *grin* A very wonderful departure from Ichigo as Bleach uke!

And Urahara's control-- with Benihime, with the situation-- at least vis a vis Grimmjow. There is still a hierarchy here, but not one of brute strength that Grimmjow is used to, but knowledge, control and perhaps more subtle emotional manipulation, seen in the games that Yoruichi and Urahara play with each other. And Yoruichi controls Urahara, through frankness and understanding. And yet, not just games, because there is usually some serious purpose behind it.

Thank you for sharing!!! Could probably say more, but i'll stop here!
*smiles* Thank you so much!! I love all these wonderful details about what you liked, it's always great to get these...

It's fun showing how Grimmjow is changing, from his old understandings and habits into these new ones under the rather subtle guidance of our favorite shopkeeper.

And it's interesting as I'd always had that image of Ichigo, besides the fact that he's jailbait in the series... he's far more, at the moment at least, into growing himself than into other people, as he should be in those years. *giggles about Ulquoirra (yeah, I know..) I want the next chapters!!!* Can't quite think of Ichigo as an all-out uke either for all kinds of reasons, but I always seem to go against the flow on established seme/uke anyway.

Yeah, it's really, really cool that you got the fact that the subtle motions are leading towards something bigger, that Urahara and, perhaps even Yoruichi, have a larger plan.

You're very, very welcome! And I'm so glad you stopped by to read! Thank you!
AH! Someone I know pointed me towards this fic and I'm so glad they did. I don't know if it's what you were going for, but I thought Grimmjow was adorable. Violent, stubborn, angry... He's one of my favorite Bleach characters, if not the favorite.

I'll be honest Kisuke doesn't normally do it for me, but I liked him in this. The fact that he was paired with Grimmjow, who is so different from him, made it more appealing.

Also I'm kinda interested to know what happened between Grimmjow and Shinji, haha. They're a pairing I like too.
Thank you! yeah... the two of them are so utterly different.

I have an oddly soft spot for loud, brash, Head FIRST Grimmjow. He's just... fun, and there's nothing hidden in him and I really like that. Urahara is pretty much his dead opposite. *laughs*

I'm very, very glad that this worked for you, eventhough Kisuke isn't usually your thing.

*giggles* Shinji and Grimm I kind of saw as fireworks... it'd be fun to think more about them.
How the hell did I miss this? *is confused*

I enjoyed this quite a bit. Considering the crack pairings I write, this one never even crossed my radar *laughs*. I think you kept them wonderfully in character and it was a fun romp.
Yay! I'm very glad you enjoyed this, and found them in character. It was fun to write, too. The laser pointer was probably my favorite bit. *lol*


They are fun to write. *thoughtfuls*

And thank you!! *dances about*

Edited at 2010-02-02 05:24 pm (UTC)
I loved Urahara teasing Grimmjow with the laser pointer!! Cats become so adorkable trying to catch those :)