Liralen Li (liralen) wrote,
Liralen Li

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Cranky Me

I have about 10,000 words of Tenpou's Tea... and I'm just about done... I just feel like I haven't done anything since I have three other stories I want to be working on, too. But I think, with the Tea, I might actually finish it to my satisfaction for once.

I haven't painted, I'm not done with anything knit for a bit, and I'm wanting to do three different things at the same times.

I went on a hike with John, his cousin, and her daughter yesterday and felt like I had a hard time keeping up... and I did. And spent most of the day talking with them or just being around. It was... good. Dinner was early as John had a meeting, and it was good because we all went to Saigon Express. Then Jet and I took them to the bus stop to drop them off, but the plan was just a little too close for my comfort.

It all worked out, though.

And then, of course, John was at his meeting while I took care of the evening stuff with Jet, and Jet was great with me.

I ended up just angry about a lot of things... some of them were really stupid things. But I was angry about not getting writing done for the last month and a half, angry about not having nearly enough time that was just mine since spring break, about not having a space that was mine, when John wanted to just putter around the kitchen to get his lunch or do random things like read the newspaper or watch some TV or stuff. My computer was in the kitchen.

My desktop had died just after the train trip. So I went onto the laptop again, and hadn't lost anything, really. Yay for old backup habits and our main machine having an enormous backup disk. It came back yesterday... and I set it up in the kitchen and I felt odd about it... and I guess it came out when I was angry about all kind of other things.

Finally, I tried getting over being angry by figuring out what I could DO about all the things that were frustrating me.

I'm going to try and get at least three hours of writing in every day, but also try not to do too much MORE than that. But I really want to avoid having this feeling that everything and everyone else is more important than my writing.

John helped me move a desk from our office into our library. Since he's in the office a lot, having us both in there at the same time just wouldn't work either. So we took a desk that used to be mine and took it down into our library/family room or whatever the hell. It's the only room downstairs with a good view of the mountains, so I should be able to enjoy that. We set my desktop up on that. With all my stuff, and a stack of my cards.

The laptop is now the kitchen machine.

I now have my own space.

And I actually got a solid *ending* to the Tenpou story while I was showering this morning, so I'm going to get it done. Crash has volunteered to beta it for me, and has gotten an earful tonight, so thank you to her for just being patient with me....
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