Cranky Me

I have about 10,000 words of Tenpou's Tea... and I'm just about done... I just feel like I haven't done anything since I have three other stories I want to be working on, too. But I think, with the Tea, I might actually finish it to my satisfaction for once.

I haven't painted, I'm not done with anything knit for a bit, and I'm wanting to do three different things at the same times.

I went on a hike with John, his cousin, and her daughter yesterday and felt like I had a hard time keeping up... and I did. And spent most of the day talking with them or just being around. It was... good. Dinner was early as John had a meeting, and it was good because we all went to Saigon Express. Then Jet and I took them to the bus stop to drop them off, but the plan was just a little too close for my comfort.

It all worked out, though.

And then, of course, John was at his meeting while I took care of the evening stuff with Jet, and Jet was great with me.

I ended up just angry about a lot of things... some of them were really stupid things. But I was angry about not getting writing done for the last month and a half, angry about not having nearly enough time that was just mine since spring break, about not having a space that was mine, when John wanted to just putter around the kitchen to get his lunch or do random things like read the newspaper or watch some TV or stuff. My computer was in the kitchen.

My desktop had died just after the train trip. So I went onto the laptop again, and hadn't lost anything, really. Yay for old backup habits and our main machine having an enormous backup disk. It came back yesterday... and I set it up in the kitchen and I felt odd about it... and I guess it came out when I was angry about all kind of other things.

Finally, I tried getting over being angry by figuring out what I could DO about all the things that were frustrating me.

I'm going to try and get at least three hours of writing in every day, but also try not to do too much MORE than that. But I really want to avoid having this feeling that everything and everyone else is more important than my writing.

John helped me move a desk from our office into our library. Since he's in the office a lot, having us both in there at the same time just wouldn't work either. So we took a desk that used to be mine and took it down into our library/family room or whatever the hell. It's the only room downstairs with a good view of the mountains, so I should be able to enjoy that. We set my desktop up on that. With all my stuff, and a stack of my cards.

The laptop is now the kitchen machine.

I now have my own space.

And I actually got a solid *ending* to the Tenpou story while I was showering this morning, so I'm going to get it done. Crash has volunteered to beta it for me, and has gotten an earful tonight, so thank you to her for just being patient with me....
  • Current Mood: crazy crazy
Own space is important. And, yeah, I hear you about this: "I really want to avoid having this feeling that everything and everyone else is more important than my writing." You could substitute "sewing" for "writing", in my case, but the problems are similar. Hurrah for identifying crankiness and Doing Something. May it continue to work for you!
Yes. They are similar problems... when the needs of the family overwhelm ones own needs/desires... yes. Same problem, different outlet...

Yeah... I needed, badly, to do something... I hope it works out well, too. So far so good, and it was fun that Jet wanted to sit in the library with me while he did his reading homework and I wrote for a bit.
Having your own space is definitely important, and I'm glad that you've got it.

I look forward to reading Tenpou's Tea when it's done.

Good on you for claiming your own workspace. It's amazing what a difference that makes.

Tenpou's Tea? (is intrigued)
It really is rather amazing... *laughs*

*works on next move*

I did a 2000 word crossover of Hakkai and Byakuya a while back, which had a prompt of those two and a tea ceremony but things happened and they never got their tea; and then Tenpou wanted his promised tea when Hakkai died.

It turned into a monster, and now he's brought in gung-fu/old man tea. *laughs*
MMmmmmm... Yes. I love her humor and how she talks about those things....


Yeah... Kids, they Do That.
Having a space exclusively yours is gold in my opinion.

I've been annoyed with myself over the non-writing thing too. I've seen that quite a few writer friends have also been in the same boat so maybe something is going around.

I don't know how fast you write, but possibly if you set either a word or page count, it might be easier than an actual block of time that might be hard t get in one go. I know on the days that I'm in the groove, I can do 1000 words an hour, yet other days, I feel blessed to 500 words down all day. I'd like to get 1800 words a day done (that would give me 50K in a month) but I haven't done that since the last time I did Nano *sigh*.
Amen about the space, it's amazing the difference it makes.

It might just be catching or something. *laughs* A mental virus or something.

A block of time is easier to schedule with the boys... and I can negotiate a bit if I'm on a streak... It's good advice, though.

You know, there are great chunks of this that I felt I could've written. So much writing frustration lately!! I've realized that it's partly because my attention is completely scattered, and I'm just not able to focus and figure out and focus on what I want to get out of it. I can't remember the last time I wrote something for myself because I wanted to. I'm so scared that the gradual waning of my writing over the past year is the prelude to another years-long dry spell. It's great that I'm getting back into the crafty things (and learning to knit has been fab), but I have to wonder at the little sense of relief when it's a great 'excuse' why I'm not pounding away at a story.

I think getting your own writing space is fantastic. I'm really looking forward to the warmer weather approaching, so I can get back to my office and get away from the daily chores and distractions in the main part of the house. There's something wonderful about your own space, even if it's just a quiet corner. It might help to get the "writey feel" you need to get the words onto the page.

Tenpou's Tea is going to be so nifty, I'm so looking forward to reading it. :)

Wishing you a lovely day. ♥
Oh, it's been the perfect day, horizontal snow and rain nearly all day, so I'm inside, writing, and watching it fall. Got the last of the tea story done and finally synchronized with stark for a bit on one of our stories.

I should get one of the vignette's on our thing done, too, as I need to get into a Yoruichi mood.

I love having my own space, very, very much. And I was talking with someone else just a little while back and as vaunted as writing for oneself is, sometimes the push I really need is to write for someone else. Because someone else is expecting it or anticipating it or... something. To bring a little joy in someone else's life is sometimes spur enough past just doing it for myself.

It made me think... *grins* I think one of the reasons collaborations are cool is that the other person *is* looking forward to your stuff. *grins*
Mm yes, me too! I was actually really keen on the collab idea for those same reasons. I thought it would help light a fire under my stodgy muse - well, it did, but she's retaliating by musing up some real crap. *laugh*

I'm trying hard to finish the Byakuya scene, but I keep hating everything I come out with, and at the end of the day my delete key is smoking and I'm left with exactly as many words as I started. *headdesk* It will come to me, though!
Oh I would love to have a space all my own. I swear someday my house will be big enough for me to have my own little corner of heaven.

Congratulations on you finally getting a place to call your own. :)