pumpkin

Lounging About... Well... Not Really...

Though I probably should be doing more of it, but John had meetings all day and Jet really, really wanted to go sledding and play with some other kids for just a little while. He's much better now, even as I think I've bottomed out. We walked out to the sledding hill and stayed until I couldn't anymore, and Jet was great about coming back then and working on his costume for tomorrow and for Halloween.

The snow is nearly a foot deep, fluffy and white, but it got warm enough today that it started to pack pretty well, so Jet had a fun time throwing snowballs and making snow angels, and it really was just too beautiful to stay inside all day. But I was very tired after that little outing, so I am definitely not all well, yet. Lungs still seem to be clear, even though the upper respiratory tract is pretty gummed up.

Jet has decided to call all the stuff he coughs and sneezes up, "Gack." I don't blame him. *laughs*

John gave me a little time yesterday, and I read books 2-8 of After School Nightnare, and finally finished the second Ghost in the Shell: Standalone Complex series. Mixed in with all the Avatar: The Last Airbender that Jet and I have been watching, and I've been having interesting dreams.



Got to the last chapter of Bleach, too, and it's intriguing how Byakuya insults Ichigo in any number of ways before reminding him of his duty. *laughs* And Kenpachi's and Unohana's style of encouragement are so very, very them. I enjoyed that. I guess it's one way to get Ichigo to make some kind of dramatic entrance.

After School Nightmare is a little odd in that the protagonist is a male student at a high school who has female genitalia. Throw on top of it the fact that a bunch of the students are in a 'dream class' where they have to kill each other to graduate and it only gets bloody weird as well as intriguing in all the ways that only symbols and symbolic actions can get.

The odd thing is how closely it touches on a lot of my own weirdness about gender identity. I mean... as an engineer, I pretty much had to pass as a logical, highly intelligent engineer, pass for male on the most part, and pretty much get accepted as a boy, but get all confused about having girl-parts and stomping on all the stupid girl feelings because they have no place in a high speed technical environment was like... woah.

Well, not that their high school is high speed technical, but the whole guy/girl thing is so much more strongly delineated in Japanese manga, and the expected roles are all confused by this whole mess.

It's been a really intriguing read for me.

Especially given how many women now read this journal and how many women I interact with on a daily basis since my retirement, when nearly all my interactions were with men before that. Having my identity change to "Jet's Mom" and to "the artistic one" rather than "the engineer" is still an identity struggle for me.

There's just three more books. It should be interesting to see where it leads me.

The second Ghost in the Shell: Standalone Complex didn't quite have the same plot satisfaction that the first one did, though the political powers were just scary strong and the Tachikoma was just a lot of fun. I really enjoyed the backstories on Saito, the Major, and even Batou. I also liked meeting Proto, and seeing a tougher side to Togusa than I'm used to seeing. I was really intrigued by Kuze Hideo, and in the ending episode the Major's little statement about always being depended upon by everyone but having no one to depend on was an intriguing bit of insight.

Made me very glad of myJohn. *laughs*

The combination of loneliness and extreme competence is intriguing. Carl has also lent me the OVAs so I should watch them as well.
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Did not know you had gender issues.

Mine, now resolved, are the reason I have my callsign.

(FYI, I decided I was as male as the body I was born with. But I had to think about it. For a long time.)
*nodnods* Well, I don't know if I'd call them "issues". It was just a way I used to live.

Hm... I am female. Having been pregnant and all the stuff after that, it's pretty obvious to me, now. I still like getting called "Sir" now and again, and I'm glad I'm big enough and well-trained enough to take care of myself in a fight. I like that I can lift and carry my half of nearly any load, including the financial one with my husband.

But... I am female. It's part of what's so intriguing about the manga, as the protagonist is working in that direction.
Fair enough.

I was fascinated enough by the experience of doubting it that I wrote a Visual Novel about a transgender girl coming out. My first VN.

It ain't done, but it might be soon.
Cool! yeah, there's a lot to mine in all that, and it's an intriguing conflict!
I'm still boggling a bit over how much snow you had. I keep thinking what it would be like if all the rain we've had over the past several days had been snow, or worse, ice.

What you say about being in an engineering environment is intriguing, especially in light of my own college experience. We had a 2:1 male:female ratio, and it was something like 5:1 in the engineering school. I knew a lot of women who... well, didn't try to pass for male, but found things a lot easier if they didn't look or act in a way that coded as "female." I wonder if that's changed at all in the past mumblety years.

(makes note to check out After School Nightmare).

The recent Bleach was a lot of fun. I do have to wonder, though... which Karakura is Ichigo going to?
*grins* I wonder that last as well. I'm hoping that the other Captains knew about the Fake and are taking him there... though it seems like they're not telling him where there is... *laughs* I love Unohana yanking Kurotsuchi's chain....

Well, I think my choice to kind of not look or act as "female" really came from being one of just two women in the whole of the electrical engineering masters program at the University of Washington, while I had a really bad experience with a boss that noticed me "as a girl" and had a really hard time dealing with the fact that I was getting a masters degree in far less time than he had taken. I just got out of there as fast as I could.

So given the ratios now, I really do hope things have changed. It was pretty ingrained in me. I hope that it no longer has to be.

And I *love* your icon. *laughs*

And, yes, ice would have been bad. It's also Colorado... and it should be mid-40's and melted by Halloween and 50's by Sunday... it was beautiful, though. Hm.. I should post a few pictures.

Edited at 2009-10-30 03:53 am (UTC)
It's a fun icon - so many other applications beyond halloween, I think.

I really do hope things have changed. It was pretty ingrained in me. I hope that it no longer has to be.

Same. I think the fact that it seems like nearly every IS project lead I've worked with in recent months was a young(ish) woman, we may be seeing signs of change. That said, as a culture, I think we still have a long, long way to go in that regard.

BTW, I checked out After School Nightmare - it sounded intriguing. I got hooked enough that I plowed through the entire series in three or four sittings. All I can say is WOW.
Oh, excellent! I'm glad that the series pleased!! I'm getting the last two books sent to me, so I haven't been able to see it yet. *laughs* I'm looking forward to that.

The IS leads are a very good sign!! We still do have a ways to go, I think.

It is always good to know that there's progress, though.
I keep making this joke about Simon being genetically female because he believes there is no such thing as 'too many shoes'; it's actually about how masculine I am. I love giving people mental whiplash by having long blonde braids and a very feminine figure and being nice and friendly and then knocking them flat with a deep technical question. I think I'm pretty comfortable with it - growing up I was 13 before I realized I was treated any differently as a female and promptly set about objecting to it whenever it happened and steering into areas where I'd aim to be judged on ability not gender (though I got a place at an all-girls college, so I value positive discrimination as a leveller). In my 20s I learned to bat my eyelids and get heavy things carried for me (bad back) at the same time I learned that if I wanted to join in a conversation with male geeks I had to just plough in instead of waiting for my 'turn'. For me my gender identity interest isn't around anything sexual or physical (I'm happy and grounded there) - it's purely about the mental space I occupy and the attitude I project. I have some good female friends - but I have a lot of male buddies I hang out with. I'm actually happiest ignoring gender roles completely!
*grins* It is fun having you knock people flat with deep technical questions, and yeah, I could see how the positive discrimination while you were in college would have been really, really useful.

I'm pretty settled as a bisexual, but happened to find a life partner that's the opposite sex. So I kind of am "invisible" in my daily life with respect to my orientation, but I'm pretty solid in it. And, yeah, I don't even really think of changing my physical self, as my physical self pretty much aligns with how I think of myself now. So that's all to the good.

I'll have to think more about that mental and attitude space, as I think I project more male than female usually... and my face-to-face lady friends pretty much notice that. *laughs* I couldn't actually sit and stay for a viewing of Sex and the City as it just... didn't work. *laughs and laughs*

But it was really interesting having little old ladies say that they're very comfortable around me, that I'm strong and stable and easy to talk to. That was... kind of cool.
oh - and we flew over Colorado about a week ago - the snow did seem to be spreading down from the mountains!
IT IS!! *laughs* It is. So early, too... though I shouldn't say that as it did snow in September, came down a full foot of snow back then, so it's not THAT unusual. And we've had snow fall in June, too. But with the solar climate the temps should be headed back up when the sun shines.

The solar panels are drinking up the combination of cold and clear very happily. It's really fun to watch the dials spin backwards.