Liralen Li (liralen) wrote,
Liralen Li

I Promised to Call...

... and John did it for me, this morning.

The receptionist listened to John list the symptoms and said that my doctor is out on vacation all week, and the other two partners in the area were booked solid, so she said that if I really wanted to see a doctor that it would have to be urgent care because that was all that was available. John and I both agreed that it didn't sound like she felt like I had to see a doctor right away.

And I am getting better. I was actually able to putter around the kitchen this morning to make my own breakfast, and I am actually able to sit at my computer, which, on Monday, seemed a complete impossibility. I had less than 500 steps on Monday, and yesterday I managed 1800. Today I'm already at 1100 by 10:30 am, so it's a pretty clear improvement. I am, however, still dizzy enough that I decided to cancel both my 911 volunteer stint and going on a retreat this coming weekend, so that if I did recover by then that I wouldn't be trying to shoehorn Yet Another Thing in on top of my rawly recovered self.

It's going to rather inconvenience some people, but I think it's going to be necessary for me. It's what I've been doing all along for the last six months, just doing Yet Another Thing the moment I felt not so horrible from the last cold/infection/etc. So... I'll try something new and not push for one more thing.

One fun thing is that the fee for the retreat that I was going to go to is non-refundable, so it's lost money to me anyway, and it was nice to call up someone I knew wanted to go and ask her if she'd go in my place. It doesn't cost me anything more than I'd already paid for what I was going to do, but it'll be a nice thing for her. Which is really cool.

I am also really really grateful, now, for the moments when I'm not dizzy, especially when I'm happily buried in my nest of blankets on the couch in my library. *laughs* It's a funny thing to realize, but after the last few months, I'm grateful for clear eyesight even if it's not 20/20, I'm grateful for lungs that can breathe, I'm grateful for a nose/sinuses that aren't running all the time, I'm grateful for a happy and even digestive system, and I'm really grateful for my friends and loved ones in all ways. Especially grateful for Isabel, who called me, and Jennifer who checked up on me in email.

One really interesting thing for me was realizing that my body has a different sense of balance than my head... if that makes any sense. But it was after doing years of taichi that I realized that my legs, back, hips, and arms, have their own sense of when I'm balanced that has nothing or very little to do with the reflexive balance that happens through my ear channel. When I really concentrate and am deeply aware of what my legs and body are feeling, how they are connected to or even rooted with the ground, then I feel completely free of dizziness. I can move easily when I'm in that connection, but it takes concentration for me to do so. So I know that if I have to move, even with this thing, I can.
Tags: health, thankful

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